AvengerVerse Annual #2: The Incursion Games
LAST TIME IN THE AVENGERVERSE:
"Stop!" The Avenger cried out before your humble narrator could even get a word out. What is it, Vengy?
"We don't need to tell them what happened last time!"
We don't?
"Nope! This event is non-canon...sort of!"
You're saying that since there's a bunch of new UGWC readers, we should tell a story that is both indicative of the style we are known for without alienating them with every single last detail they're not going to care about when this crossover is over?
As the narrator suggested this, the Avenger thought for a moment.
"Yeah!" he agreed. "What you said! Only, maybe give them a general idea, you know, so they aren't lost."
A boring exposition dump. What a heroic thing of you to suggest.
"Well, that's what I do!"
Okay then, let's take this from the top.
"Wait, what do you mean by bor..."
"We don't need to tell them what happened last time!"
We don't?
"Nope! This event is non-canon...sort of!"
You're saying that since there's a bunch of new UGWC readers, we should tell a story that is both indicative of the style we are known for without alienating them with every single last detail they're not going to care about when this crossover is over?
As the narrator suggested this, the Avenger thought for a moment.
"Yeah!" he agreed. "What you said! Only, maybe give them a general idea, you know, so they aren't lost."
A boring exposition dump. What a heroic thing of you to suggest.
"Well, that's what I do!"
Okay then, let's take this from the top.
"Wait, what do you mean by bor..."
LAST TIME IN THE AVENGERVERSE:
The Avenger is a superhero that travels the multiverse. He's also the Baltimore City Champion of Carnage Wrestling, a prize he cherishes almost as much as his friends. At first, he traveled to different worlds to stop the worst wrestler ever from destroying it. But after he helped save all of existence as you know it...
"You're WELCOME!" Avenger added, ever the humble hero.
After he saved the day, he then began to search for his friend. But he ran afoul of an evil version of himself from Universe #161, who burned down hismotel room headquarters and wrecked the only device capable of taking our heroes to the alternate worlds to stop them.
There, you think that did it?
"Shouldn't you tell them about The Right Hand? Or that Grumpy Gus named Zach Van Owen? Or.."
You just said not to do that! I'm not arguing in this blank narrative void anymore. Let's get on with the story.
"I'm gonna start calling YOU a Grumpy Gus," Avenger said, before we thankfully hit the readers with a TITLE CARD.
"You're WELCOME!" Avenger added, ever the humble hero.
After he saved the day, he then began to search for his friend. But he ran afoul of an evil version of himself from Universe #161, who burned down his
There, you think that did it?
"Shouldn't you tell them about The Right Hand? Or that Grumpy Gus named Zach Van Owen? Or.."
You just said not to do that! I'm not arguing in this blank narrative void anymore. Let's get on with the story.
"I'm gonna start calling YOU a Grumpy Gus," Avenger said, before we thankfully hit the readers with a TITLE CARD.
AVENGERVERSE ANNUAL #2: THE INCURSION GAMES
"I've fixed it!"
The larger, obese version of the Avenger from Universe #536 came out of his makeshift tent on the roof of the Carnage Arena and held the Multiversal Remote in his hands, grinning. The device had been broken in their last battle and it had been some time since they were able to go anywhere but the place they were currently squatting.
Avenger poked his head out of his own tent, toothbrush in his mouth and spoke up. As he did, the toothbrush immediately fell out and landed on the ground.
"You did?"
He glanced down and saw what had happened before slapping his own forehead.
"That's like, the fifth time this week!"
536 looked back at him and frowned.
"What happened to your super-reflexes?" he asked.
"I was distracted!" Avenger protested.
"All five times?" Sam Action, said, now emerging from his own, third tent. It was an unusual sight if anyone actually stepped out to the roof. But no one did. The Carnage Arena had been unusually quiet as of late, as it seemed everyone was distracted by one thing or another. But for Avenger, the battle for #JUSTICE never ended.
"YES!" Vengy replied.
He pulled himself out and picked up the now-dirty toothbrush, before tossing it in a nearby garbage can. Now reader, you may think that he would simply toss it off the roof, but..
"I would NEVER litter!" The Avenger exclaimed. Yes, that.
536 and Sam looked at him blankly for a moment. "You don't have to say that every time you throw something away."
Avenger looked skyward, knowing the narrator set up him to look crazy and frowned.
"One day, you guys are gonna be able to hear the narrator and you're going to regret making fun of me," he pouted. "And I am NOT pouting!"
Sam climbs out himself and puts a hand on Avenger's shoulder. "It's okay, man. I believe you."
536 nodded absentmindedly. "Sure, sure, he can hear a man in the clouds. Can we talk about the repaired MR, please?"
That's when our hero got very excited, as if he had completely forgot why he stepped out of the tent to begin with. He pumped his fist in the air and turned back to face his larger companion.
"YES!" Vengy shouted. "We need to test it!"
536 nodded. "Sure, let's do that. Let's go to the mirror universe and stop the evil you and the Right Hand once and for all."
Avenger shook his head, having apparently made up his mind before a conversation could really be had. After briefly glaring at the narrator, he spoke up again.
"YES!" Vengy shouted. "We need to test it!"
536 nodded. "Sure, let's do that. Let's go to the mirror universe and stop the evil you and the Right Hand once and for all."
Avenger shook his head, having apparently made up his mind before a conversation could really be had. After briefly glaring at the narrator, he spoke up again.
"We can't do that."
Sam asked, "Why not?"
"Because," Vengy added. "There's too much old story in that. The UGWC Citizens won't be able to follow the plot! Didn't you see the title? This is an annual! We're outside normal continuity!"
Sam glanced at 536, knowing Avenger couldn't see him and gave him a puzzled look. 536 simply mouthed, "I don't know" and shrugged his shoulders. Sam turned back to the hero and spoke calmly. "Okay Vengy. You saved the day last time, so you can pick where we go."
Sam asked, "Why not?"
"Because," Vengy added. "There's too much old story in that. The UGWC Citizens won't be able to follow the plot! Didn't you see the title? This is an annual! We're outside normal continuity!"
Sam glanced at 536, knowing Avenger couldn't see him and gave him a puzzled look. 536 simply mouthed, "I don't know" and shrugged his shoulders. Sam turned back to the hero and spoke calmly. "Okay Vengy. You saved the day last time, so you can pick where we go."
536 nodded. "Yeah, I suppose that's a good idea. Besides, we wouldn't want it to short out and get stranded there. Best to go to a neutral area where we could hide out if we needed to make more repairs."
The Avenger sat back down, more of a crouch really, and rubbed his chin as he thought. He never actually got to pick where they went before, and there was a whole multiverse out there. Did he go to a universe they visited previously? Or perhaps he could choose one he'd never been to before. After all, if you could think it, a universe likely existed.
"Like the universe where people had hands for feet and feet for hands," he mumbled, hoping his friends didn't hear him. They did. Finally, he stood back up and looked at the larger of the three. "We need to find a universe where it's like Roman times!"
"Like the universe where people had hands for feet and feet for hands," he mumbled, hoping his friends didn't hear him. They did. Finally, he stood back up and looked at the larger of the three. "We need to find a universe where it's like Roman times!"
Sam, normally tolerant of Avenger's eccentricities, was the one who spoke up. "I'll bite. Why?"
Avenger nodded to himself, as if confirming some logic he put together in his head. Wait until you hear his reasoning, folks.
"Well, I'm fighting a guy named Centurion at the big UGWC/Carnage crossover special INCURSION (™), so I should prepare."
"Vengy," Sam started, looking over at 536 who just rolled his eyes. "Aren't you taking his name a little too literally?"
"Look. I googled Centurion and it said that Centurion was a Roman general or something." Avenger replied. "It wouldn't be the weirdest thing we've seen."
All three of them remembered the time they ran from a dinosaur with a blonde wig and shuddered.
"Alright, let me see if I can locate one that's...like what you said." 536 said, before enabling the device's search function. "Okay, here it is, Earth #395."
"I wonder who decides what Earths get what numbers," Avenger said out loud.
Sam, who hadn't done any multiversal traveling in some time, started to limber up. "Anything we should know about this place? What, did the Roman Empire not fall?"
"God, no," 536 answered. "They just do wrestling contests like Roman gladiatorial battles. Perfectly safe way to train."
The three locked hands and with a press of the button, they were hurled through the void and to a new world.
====
The three suddenly popped into existence in the middle of something that, yes, looked like a Roman coliseum. Unfortunately, they arrived right in the middle of the arena, shocking the onlookers. Perhaps you've heard of them. Or maybe not. There was an Emperor watching from afar, who looked a lot like...
"Is that...JOHNNY BONECRUSHER?" Avenger shouted, gawking and pointing at this universe's royalty.
"Isn't it Hitmaker now? I think we could get sued for saying the other thing. Some British guy." Sam chuckled, shrugging. None of them really cared about lawsuits. They could, after all, find the best lawyers in the multiverse to get them out of any sticky legal situations.
"YOU!" The Emperor shouted. "How dare you invade our sacred battleground! We were in the middle of holding our Incursion Games!"
Avenger chuckled. "That's funny because it's like the event I'm gonna be wrestling at."
The Emperor started bellowing again. "LET ME MAKE MYSELF....PERFECTLY CLEAR!"
Avenger laughed again. "He did it! He said the thing!" 536 elbowed him in the ribs and shushed him.
The Emperor, who was very potato-like, began yelling again. "For your transgressions, you will now compete!"
The three looked at each other and shrugged. After a bit of quiet conversation, Avenger stepped forward, making himself the leader. "WE SHALL COMPETE, JOHNNY!"
Emperor Bonecrusher was briefly taken aback, not sure who 'Johnny' is, but ignored it.
"Yes, you shall meet my champion...TO THE DEATH!"
Avenger suddenly got very quiet. "Come again?"
"YES! ALL FIGHTS HERE ARE TO THE DEATH! LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST THREE WHO CHALLENGED ME!"
He pointed to the far end of the Coliseum, where there were three bodies stacked on top of each other...with pieces missing. Avenger cringed. "Is...is that.."
"The Astro-Creeps, I believe. Or this universe's equivalent." 536 confirmed, looking up the data on the device.
Avenger's eyes moved and saw more half-eaten fighters, which looked like UGWC Hall of Famer Jet Somers and current UGWC tag team champion Eden Morgan back on his Earth. He felt nauseous.
"It looks like something....ATE them." Sam said. Our hero turned around and threw up behind them, before turning back around to face Emperor Bonecrusher.
"Listen up, jerkface! You can't just go around forcing people to fight to the death! That's not right! And also, cannibalism is also wrong!"
The Emperor sat back in his throne and smiled. "Let's see how sharp your tongue is when you meet MY CHAMPION."
Suddenly, a gate on the opposite side of the arena opened and a large Asian man came out. He had muscles on top of muscles, and he wore a giant chain around his neck. He growled at the three. He began to step forward, when suddenly he was tackled by something large, furry and monstrous, who began to maul him right in front of the three heroes. Since this comic is usually PG, we can only tell you how horrible it is. Or let Avenger do it, because as he noted...
"JESUS CHRIST IS THAT A LION!?"
Bonecrusher looked up from on high and grinned. "YES, MY CHAMPION! LION-O, LORD OF THE THUNDERCATS!"
Even gripped with fear, Vengy made a note of how odd that name sounded in this context. "Okay, I'll laugh at that later. FAT ME, GET US OUT OF HERE!"
536, sweating profusely and shaking, began to hammer away at the device pressing buttons. "I'm trying, I'm trying!"
Sam moved over to 536 and tried to help him. "You said this universe would be safe!" he said angrily.
"I didn't know there would be lions!"
With the device seemingly not working, Avenger knew what he had to do. He pulled out his SUPER-BAG OF DEUS EX MACHINA and began to look through it for something to help them out of this situation. The lion, not caring to wait, ran forward, ready to devour some sweet, sweet Avenger-meat.
"You could sound a little less happy about it!" Avenger yelled. He finally found what he was looking for, and pulled out a giant ball of yarn, the size of a basketball. How that was inside such a medium-sized bag, this narrator couldn't tell you. But this did involve traveling between universes, so let's not question the science now.
"Here, kitty kitty kitty!"
The lion leapt forward and roared at Avenger, who, to his credit, was fearless. He got in a crouching position and then rolled the ball of yarn at the lion.
"There is no way this works," Sam said over 536's shoulder, trying to figure out the MR with him.
"We are gonna die," 536 agreed.
The lion stopped in its tracks and eyed the ball curiously as it got closer and closer. It then looked back at Avenger, placing a paw on the ground and taking a single step forward. At first, even Avenger thought he was going to go to that great comic book shop in the sky. But then...
The lion pounced on the yarn and began to chew on it, purring.
Emperor Bonecrusher stood up, eyes open wide and mouth agape. Very Pikachu-like. The lion now seemed content. Avenger turned back to his friends and grinned, as both of them were equally shocked.
"I know my cats! Those Zoobooks didn't go to waste after all!"
Then, he quickly turned to face the lion and, without a moment's hesitation, superhero kicked it in the face! The lion's eyes crossed and it fell over, unconscious, drool leaking out of its mouth onto the yarn.
Sam shouted at him. "Really?!"
Avenger stood his ground. "You just watched it eat people, and you're mad at me? There was no way a ball of yarn would have worked forever!"
Sam raised a finger to protest, then put it down. "Naw, you're right."
Emperor Bonecrusher then yelled down at the three. "NOBODY DEFEATS MY CHAMPION! GUARDS!"
Another gate opened and a hundred men began to pour into the arena, but right as they did, 536 pressed a button on the device and a portal opened. He reached out and grabbed Sam, who reached out and grabbed Avenger. As they were pulled backward, Avenger got a look at the guards, and all one-hundred of them looked like his opponent, Centurion.
"I told you!" he exclaimed, before Earth #395 vanished out of sight.
"Is that...JOHNNY BONECRUSHER?" Avenger shouted, gawking and pointing at this universe's royalty.
"Isn't it Hitmaker now? I think we could get sued for saying the other thing. Some British guy." Sam chuckled, shrugging. None of them really cared about lawsuits. They could, after all, find the best lawyers in the multiverse to get them out of any sticky legal situations.
"YOU!" The Emperor shouted. "How dare you invade our sacred battleground! We were in the middle of holding our Incursion Games!"
Avenger chuckled. "That's funny because it's like the event I'm gonna be wrestling at."
The Emperor started bellowing again. "LET ME MAKE MYSELF....PERFECTLY CLEAR!"
Avenger laughed again. "He did it! He said the thing!" 536 elbowed him in the ribs and shushed him.
The Emperor, who was very potato-like, began yelling again. "For your transgressions, you will now compete!"
The three looked at each other and shrugged. After a bit of quiet conversation, Avenger stepped forward, making himself the leader. "WE SHALL COMPETE, JOHNNY!"
Emperor Bonecrusher was briefly taken aback, not sure who 'Johnny' is, but ignored it.
"Yes, you shall meet my champion...TO THE DEATH!"
Avenger suddenly got very quiet. "Come again?"
"YES! ALL FIGHTS HERE ARE TO THE DEATH! LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST THREE WHO CHALLENGED ME!"
He pointed to the far end of the Coliseum, where there were three bodies stacked on top of each other...with pieces missing. Avenger cringed. "Is...is that.."
"The Astro-Creeps, I believe. Or this universe's equivalent." 536 confirmed, looking up the data on the device.
Avenger's eyes moved and saw more half-eaten fighters, which looked like UGWC Hall of Famer Jet Somers and current UGWC tag team champion Eden Morgan back on his Earth. He felt nauseous.
"It looks like something....ATE them." Sam said. Our hero turned around and threw up behind them, before turning back around to face Emperor Bonecrusher.
"Listen up, jerkface! You can't just go around forcing people to fight to the death! That's not right! And also, cannibalism is also wrong!"
The Emperor sat back in his throne and smiled. "Let's see how sharp your tongue is when you meet MY CHAMPION."
Suddenly, a gate on the opposite side of the arena opened and a large Asian man came out. He had muscles on top of muscles, and he wore a giant chain around his neck. He growled at the three. He began to step forward, when suddenly he was tackled by something large, furry and monstrous, who began to maul him right in front of the three heroes. Since this comic is usually PG, we can only tell you how horrible it is. Or let Avenger do it, because as he noted...
"JESUS CHRIST IS THAT A LION!?"
Bonecrusher looked up from on high and grinned. "YES, MY CHAMPION! LION-O, LORD OF THE THUNDERCATS!"
Even gripped with fear, Vengy made a note of how odd that name sounded in this context. "Okay, I'll laugh at that later. FAT ME, GET US OUT OF HERE!"
536, sweating profusely and shaking, began to hammer away at the device pressing buttons. "I'm trying, I'm trying!"
Sam moved over to 536 and tried to help him. "You said this universe would be safe!" he said angrily.
"I didn't know there would be lions!"
With the device seemingly not working, Avenger knew what he had to do. He pulled out his SUPER-BAG OF DEUS EX MACHINA and began to look through it for something to help them out of this situation. The lion, not caring to wait, ran forward, ready to devour some sweet, sweet Avenger-meat.
"You could sound a little less happy about it!" Avenger yelled. He finally found what he was looking for, and pulled out a giant ball of yarn, the size of a basketball. How that was inside such a medium-sized bag, this narrator couldn't tell you. But this did involve traveling between universes, so let's not question the science now.
"Here, kitty kitty kitty!"
The lion leapt forward and roared at Avenger, who, to his credit, was fearless. He got in a crouching position and then rolled the ball of yarn at the lion.
"There is no way this works," Sam said over 536's shoulder, trying to figure out the MR with him.
"We are gonna die," 536 agreed.
The lion stopped in its tracks and eyed the ball curiously as it got closer and closer. It then looked back at Avenger, placing a paw on the ground and taking a single step forward. At first, even Avenger thought he was going to go to that great comic book shop in the sky. But then...
The lion pounced on the yarn and began to chew on it, purring.
Emperor Bonecrusher stood up, eyes open wide and mouth agape. Very Pikachu-like. The lion now seemed content. Avenger turned back to his friends and grinned, as both of them were equally shocked.
"I know my cats! Those Zoobooks didn't go to waste after all!"
Then, he quickly turned to face the lion and, without a moment's hesitation, superhero kicked it in the face! The lion's eyes crossed and it fell over, unconscious, drool leaking out of its mouth onto the yarn.
Sam shouted at him. "Really?!"
Avenger stood his ground. "You just watched it eat people, and you're mad at me? There was no way a ball of yarn would have worked forever!"
Sam raised a finger to protest, then put it down. "Naw, you're right."
Emperor Bonecrusher then yelled down at the three. "NOBODY DEFEATS MY CHAMPION! GUARDS!"
Another gate opened and a hundred men began to pour into the arena, but right as they did, 536 pressed a button on the device and a portal opened. He reached out and grabbed Sam, who reached out and grabbed Avenger. As they were pulled backward, Avenger got a look at the guards, and all one-hundred of them looked like his opponent, Centurion.
"I told you!" he exclaimed, before Earth #395 vanished out of sight.
====
The three landed back on the roof of the Carnage Arena, Avenger landing particularly hard on his backside. 536 leaned over the edge of the roof and threw up, no doubt ruining someone's day in the parking lot. He turned back to Avenger.
"You," he said, gasping, "are never picking the universe again."
"Excuse me? You said it was safe!" Avenger argued.
Once again, Sam played mediator. "The important thing is that we're safe. And Avenger superkicked a lion. I'd say he's ready for that crossover show thing."
"Damn right he is, bitch!" a voice said from behind the camera, which had just showed up to film the three.
536 and Sam went back inside their respective tents. Avenger looked quizzically at the person behind the camera.
"Hey! You're not my regular guy! Who are you?"
The camera shook and briefly caught a glimpse of the man's hand waving at Avenger. "I'm Bert!"
Vengy turned around in the direction of the tents. "Fat Me! Are we at our Earth?"
"No...." said 536's meek voice from inside his tent. He wasn't wrong often, but he didn't like being called out on it.
"So where are we?" Avenger said.
"Earth #615. Just one over." 536 replied. Then, before Avenger could say anything else, he shouted. "I WAS SCARED, OKAY?!"
Avenger sighed. He had a thrilling adventure, and now it seemed it was time to record the promo portion that he was contractually obligated to do. "Okay, fine. I'll just record it and then, I dunno, get a copy before we go. Bert, was it?"
"Yeah, bitch!" The excited cameraman answered.
"Okay, first of all, LANGUAGE. Second of all, what show is this for?"
"Dude, this is for the Level Up Wrestling and OWF crossover show! INFILTRATION (™)! You're fighting Centurion!" Avenger couldn't help but laugh to himself. "Well, I guess we are one over. Not everything can be different. Okay Bert, you're hired!" "I was already..." "No more talking!" Avenger scolded him. "It's time for me to tell Centurion how I'm going to dish out some #JUSTICE at INCUR...I mean, INFILTRATION! Are we rolling?" Bert went silent and simply nodded, the camera moving up and down with him. "Good! Greetings, Citizens! Your friendly neighborhood Avenger here! Wrestling's only real superhero, the Heart of Carnage Wrestling and YOUR Champion of Baltimore! And it seems I have some stiff competition as I'm set to face the Cross-Hemisphere champion Centurion! Now, I know that technically your belt covers more ground than mine, but I also saved the Multiverse, and Christmas, so I win. Call me when you've beaten Krampus, pal!" Avenger stuck out a big thumbs up and cheesy grin, somehow able to effortlessly weave between superhero talk and innocent insults without being aware he's doing it. "Now, I'm sure you have a lot of thoughts. Or questions, if you will. I will do my best to answer them, but they will have to be submitted in writing." He looked down at his hands, noticed that there were none and shrugged. "Oh well, let's just guess what those questions are, shall we?" Vengy then took on a gruff voice, which was odd because he'd never heard Centurion speak before, and rambled on. "'How dare you think you're a superhero? Don't you know I'm currently having 'relations' with a superhero? She messaged you on Twitter once! You should have invited her into your little justice club!'" Avenger then coughed, the impression that sounded nothing like his opponent doing a number on his throat. "Okay, first of all, it's a team, not a justice club. I mean I'm sure you didn't say that...I don't know what you said, but let's be accurate. Secondly, I don't know you questioned my superheroness, but everyone else does. And you know what happens to them? They get superhero kicked in the face! I am very good at my job! I beat four people already this year, and sure, I had a couple of missteps, but there's no reason I can't beat you too!" He rubbed the back of his neck, remembering the powerbomb on the apron he took in his last match. "But I'm not overconfident, Citizen! Just because I've never met you before and you won't acknowledge my tweets and you're from some place that looks like it time traveled from the late 90s, doesn't mean you don't pose any challenge! After all, you are a champion! That has to count for something! And you beat some tough competition to defend it, too! Like that one guy with the long name. Or that other guy with the even longer name! Or the spooky dude with the hard-to-pronounce name!" The camera leaned down at Avenger, checking his smartphone for bit of history on Centurion, before looking back up. Avenger hid the phone behind his back. "Look, I would never sell short your credentials, Citizen! After all, this is friendly competition! I'm even turning off my superpowers, just like I always do because it's the fair and right thing to do! Only evil people need to fear #JUSTICE, everyone else just gets kicked in the face and pinned! I think that's a fair trade!" He nodded, agreeing with his own point. "Now, I know you're probably nervous. After all, it's not every day you can meet an actual superhero. I know, you're dating that other one, but she's more like a street-level superhero. What she does is important and all but, if it weren't for me, she wouldn't have streets to defend! Do you have any idea how close this world was to getting erased last year?" "It was, yo?" the cameraman said, shocked. Avenger glared at him and held a finger to his lips. "But I don't need your gratitude. I don't even need you to acknowledge I'm what I say I am. Because you know what Citizen? I have an entire city behind me! I defend the city of Baltimore and the company of Carnage Wrestling. I'm well-liked and I'm a good guy! Can you say the same? Can you say you go out of your way every day to do the right thing? Or do you just hold a belt because of how good it'll make you look? I'm champion because it symbolizes everything that's great about the city I grew up in and the company I wrestle for!" He pulled out his belt and slung it over his shoulder, proudly showing the Baltimore City Championship to everyone watching his speech. "Can you say the same, Citizen? Why are you a champion? Money? Fame? Power? A pat on the back from that old rocker guy over in the place you came from? I tell you why I'm champion. I'm champion to be a symbol of hope. A symbol of courage. A symbol that if you work hard and fight for your dreams, you can achieve them! If someone like me can come back from the biggest losing streak of all time to finally win a title, then anything is possible!" He nodded again, patting his belt and smiling genuinely at how far he's come. He hadn't realized that he moved beyond a standard promo into a heartfelt speech about why he does what he does. Vengy looked up in the sky as he continued. "This is friendly competition, sure, but it's also a chance for me to show you why the Baltimore division is the best division in wrestling! I don't just represent myself, but everyone who ever held this belt before me! Bryan Ford, Sam Action, Robert Zodiac, Mai Goto, Pearl Atlee, Robbie Future, Cynder Hendricks, Ragnarok, Yoona Kodeen, Ken Davison, ZQ, Mac Bane and even Adrienne Levi! I represent all of them because I represent what they stood for, the great city of Baltimore. The hopes and dreams of a population of 609,302!" He looked back down, right into the eyes of Centurion, who he hoped was watching. "I hope you represent more than yourself, Citizen. I'll see you at Incursion! Good luck!" He gave another thumbs up and turned around to address the fact he just cut a promo for a crossover event between two companies he didn't work for. Bert hit stop on the camera and had one last thing to say. "What the heck is Incursion, yo?"
The three landed back on the roof of the Carnage Arena, Avenger landing particularly hard on his backside. 536 leaned over the edge of the roof and threw up, no doubt ruining someone's day in the parking lot. He turned back to Avenger.
"You," he said, gasping, "are never picking the universe again."
"Excuse me? You said it was safe!" Avenger argued.
Once again, Sam played mediator. "The important thing is that we're safe. And Avenger superkicked a lion. I'd say he's ready for that crossover show thing."
"Damn right he is, bitch!" a voice said from behind the camera, which had just showed up to film the three.
536 and Sam went back inside their respective tents. Avenger looked quizzically at the person behind the camera.
"Hey! You're not my regular guy! Who are you?"
The camera shook and briefly caught a glimpse of the man's hand waving at Avenger. "I'm Bert!"
Vengy turned around in the direction of the tents. "Fat Me! Are we at our Earth?"
"No...." said 536's meek voice from inside his tent. He wasn't wrong often, but he didn't like being called out on it.
"So where are we?" Avenger said.
"Earth #615. Just one over." 536 replied. Then, before Avenger could say anything else, he shouted. "I WAS SCARED, OKAY?!"
Avenger sighed. He had a thrilling adventure, and now it seemed it was time to record the promo portion that he was contractually obligated to do. "Okay, fine. I'll just record it and then, I dunno, get a copy before we go. Bert, was it?"
"Yeah, bitch!" The excited cameraman answered.
"Okay, first of all, LANGUAGE. Second of all, what show is this for?"
"Dude, this is for the Level Up Wrestling and OWF crossover show! INFILTRATION (™)! You're fighting Centurion!" Avenger couldn't help but laugh to himself. "Well, I guess we are one over. Not everything can be different. Okay Bert, you're hired!" "I was already..." "No more talking!" Avenger scolded him. "It's time for me to tell Centurion how I'm going to dish out some #JUSTICE at INCUR...I mean, INFILTRATION! Are we rolling?" Bert went silent and simply nodded, the camera moving up and down with him. "Good! Greetings, Citizens! Your friendly neighborhood Avenger here! Wrestling's only real superhero, the Heart of Carnage Wrestling and YOUR Champion of Baltimore! And it seems I have some stiff competition as I'm set to face the Cross-Hemisphere champion Centurion! Now, I know that technically your belt covers more ground than mine, but I also saved the Multiverse, and Christmas, so I win. Call me when you've beaten Krampus, pal!" Avenger stuck out a big thumbs up and cheesy grin, somehow able to effortlessly weave between superhero talk and innocent insults without being aware he's doing it. "Now, I'm sure you have a lot of thoughts. Or questions, if you will. I will do my best to answer them, but they will have to be submitted in writing." He looked down at his hands, noticed that there were none and shrugged. "Oh well, let's just guess what those questions are, shall we?" Vengy then took on a gruff voice, which was odd because he'd never heard Centurion speak before, and rambled on. "'How dare you think you're a superhero? Don't you know I'm currently having 'relations' with a superhero? She messaged you on Twitter once! You should have invited her into your little justice club!'" Avenger then coughed, the impression that sounded nothing like his opponent doing a number on his throat. "Okay, first of all, it's a team, not a justice club. I mean I'm sure you didn't say that...I don't know what you said, but let's be accurate. Secondly, I don't know you questioned my superheroness, but everyone else does. And you know what happens to them? They get superhero kicked in the face! I am very good at my job! I beat four people already this year, and sure, I had a couple of missteps, but there's no reason I can't beat you too!" He rubbed the back of his neck, remembering the powerbomb on the apron he took in his last match. "But I'm not overconfident, Citizen! Just because I've never met you before and you won't acknowledge my tweets and you're from some place that looks like it time traveled from the late 90s, doesn't mean you don't pose any challenge! After all, you are a champion! That has to count for something! And you beat some tough competition to defend it, too! Like that one guy with the long name. Or that other guy with the even longer name! Or the spooky dude with the hard-to-pronounce name!" The camera leaned down at Avenger, checking his smartphone for bit of history on Centurion, before looking back up. Avenger hid the phone behind his back. "Look, I would never sell short your credentials, Citizen! After all, this is friendly competition! I'm even turning off my superpowers, just like I always do because it's the fair and right thing to do! Only evil people need to fear #JUSTICE, everyone else just gets kicked in the face and pinned! I think that's a fair trade!" He nodded, agreeing with his own point. "Now, I know you're probably nervous. After all, it's not every day you can meet an actual superhero. I know, you're dating that other one, but she's more like a street-level superhero. What she does is important and all but, if it weren't for me, she wouldn't have streets to defend! Do you have any idea how close this world was to getting erased last year?" "It was, yo?" the cameraman said, shocked. Avenger glared at him and held a finger to his lips. "But I don't need your gratitude. I don't even need you to acknowledge I'm what I say I am. Because you know what Citizen? I have an entire city behind me! I defend the city of Baltimore and the company of Carnage Wrestling. I'm well-liked and I'm a good guy! Can you say the same? Can you say you go out of your way every day to do the right thing? Or do you just hold a belt because of how good it'll make you look? I'm champion because it symbolizes everything that's great about the city I grew up in and the company I wrestle for!" He pulled out his belt and slung it over his shoulder, proudly showing the Baltimore City Championship to everyone watching his speech. "Can you say the same, Citizen? Why are you a champion? Money? Fame? Power? A pat on the back from that old rocker guy over in the place you came from? I tell you why I'm champion. I'm champion to be a symbol of hope. A symbol of courage. A symbol that if you work hard and fight for your dreams, you can achieve them! If someone like me can come back from the biggest losing streak of all time to finally win a title, then anything is possible!" He nodded again, patting his belt and smiling genuinely at how far he's come. He hadn't realized that he moved beyond a standard promo into a heartfelt speech about why he does what he does. Vengy looked up in the sky as he continued. "This is friendly competition, sure, but it's also a chance for me to show you why the Baltimore division is the best division in wrestling! I don't just represent myself, but everyone who ever held this belt before me! Bryan Ford, Sam Action, Robert Zodiac, Mai Goto, Pearl Atlee, Robbie Future, Cynder Hendricks, Ragnarok, Yoona Kodeen, Ken Davison, ZQ, Mac Bane and even Adrienne Levi! I represent all of them because I represent what they stood for, the great city of Baltimore. The hopes and dreams of a population of 609,302!" He looked back down, right into the eyes of Centurion, who he hoped was watching. "I hope you represent more than yourself, Citizen. I'll see you at Incursion! Good luck!" He gave another thumbs up and turned around to address the fact he just cut a promo for a crossover event between two companies he didn't work for. Bert hit stop on the camera and had one last thing to say. "What the heck is Incursion, yo?"