AvengerVerse, Volume 2, Issue 12: The Baltimore Curse
LAST TIME IN THE AVENGERVERSE:
The Avenger was transported back in time by the mysterious Zealot, who informed him that he could choose to stay in the past and never explore the multiverse, or return to the present and lose something important to him.
"I ain't afraid of no ghost!" The Avenger exclaimed. Haven't you said that before?
"Probably," he added. "But this time it was said in a different context, which is totally not the same as reusing old material!"
You're still looking at selling old issues, aren't you?
"Hey, Carnage is closing! I gotta move all these comics I had printed on C$J's dime!"
Anyway, Avenger decided to return to the present, as the multiverse wouldn't be saved if he didn't. He put others ahead of himself, making him a true hero.
"Again." Avenger corrected me, still having a bit of an ego. "Am not! I just think all the facts should be out there!"
If you say so...
AVENGERVERSE, VOLUME 2: ISSUE 12
THE BALTIMORE CURSE
THE BALTIMORE CURSE
It had been a few weeks since The Avenger returned to the present, and he was dealing with a string of losses. Centurion, Sebastian Hawke, Silvio Leon. If he didn't know any better, he'd think someone had been conspiring against him. And it turned out, someone was.
Zealot.
It was all Avenger could think about, but he couldn't figure out what his endgame was. It was throwing Avenger off his game, and he knew he wasn't the same in the ring as he had been when he won the Baltimore title. In fact, he was probably dangerously close to losing that title because his matches had been short affairs with little effort. He wasn't giving things a superhero's approach and he knew it.
But Zealot was all he could think about. Sam and 536 happened to notice him stewing on this day.
"Yo Avenger," Sam said, taking a seat next to him on the roof of the Carnage Arena, where they had already packed up their camping gear. It was time to go, so they had no reason to stay on the roof of the place Avenger called home for years.
536 took a seat on the other side, as the three had lawn chairs right up to the edge of the roof of the Arena, staring out at the sunset on the Baltimore skyline.
Avenger said nothing, so Sam tried again. "Vengy," he gently prodded. "What's going on? You're in a different universe."
536 leaned forward and gave their friend a look. Sam shrugged. "Figuratively speakin', man."
"I already told you guys about Zealot and the time travel. I know you don't believe me."
Sam placed a hand on his friend's back. "Who said we didn't? Sh...Dang, man, it wouldn't even be in the top ten weirdest things we've done."
536 laughed a little, realizing how right Sam was. "Remember that time you short-circuited an android by playing Drake?"
Sam smiled and added his own example. "Or when I was mind-controlled by a bunch of kids? And then you superkicked that robot?"
It was then they all realized Avenger had a history of attacking technology. Even if he did think it was a child at the time. Avenger didn't react to the narrator's teasing, which likely meant this was serious. Not that Sam or 536 would know, as they still couldn't hear the voice.
"This is different," Avenger said. "Honestly, the whole thing made me feel weird. He said I was gonna lose something. So I've felt like something bad was gonna happen."
Sam thought a moment.
"Maybe he just meant your losing streak?" he asked.
Avenger shook his head. "Nah, that was just me. My head hasn't been in the game. Or maybe it's the curse of the belt." He was half-joking, but 536 reached behind him and pulled out their handheld camera.
"Why don't you talk about it?" he suggested. "Get your last message to the Legion out of the way."
Sam nodded. "I think that's a good idea."
Avenger shrugged, a total noncommittal answer, but 536 hit record anyway.
"No one's ever really held the Baltimore Championship long in Carnage," Avenger said. "No one will ever say the belt is cursed, but I've heard rumblings in the locker room about it. The last champion vacated due to injury and vanished from the face of the earth. But before that, no one's been able to successfully highroad it. Eli Goode and Mac Bane both lost their chances at the Ultraviolent title. The only one who's managed to be successful with it, really successful, is Sam."
He nudged his head towards his best friend, who nodded in the camera's general direction. Sam hadn't wrestled in Carnage in years, and they weren't sure he could after the mind control device scrambled his brain.
"Sam not only got the three defenses, but he managed to use it for a rematch clause and won that. So a pretty standard title run when it was all said and done."
Sam patted his friend on the back, but said nothing.
"But what about me?" he protested, his voice raising with a bit of despair in it. "What about Carnage's true superhero? The heart of the company, the champion of Baltimore? Even if I beat Casanova English, and with the losing streak I'm on that might not happen, what am I the champion of?"
He shook his head.
"Nothing," he answered. "I'll be the champion of nothing."
Sam decided to interrupt, clearing his throat and breaking Vengy's train of thought.
"Nah man," he said, shaking his head. "You'll still be the champion. A superhero is always a champion. You saved the multiverse and Christmas. You saved me. And you're gonna go out there and whoop Cassie's ass too."
"Language," Avenger said, although he didn't have a lot of fight in it. Perhaps it would be okay if this comic was PG-13 for once.
"Yeah, yeah," Sam added. "I'm just tellin' the people what they need to hear. You should all be ashamed. Lookin' down on this man who's given his blood, sweat and tears for you. Vengy's been here long before some of the so-called champions on the roster and with them already checked out, he's still here, watchin' the sunset and keepin' the lights on."
"Sam," Avenger said, looking over at his friend. "It's okay."
"The hell it is," Sam argued. "I been keepin' my mouth shut while these people run you into the ground. Now that scrawny-ass Sebastian got the nerve to turn into a damn whiner because you ain't the superhero in his story? All these other people questionin' what you do? You are the got damn Avenger, and it's about time these people knew it!"
Avenger gave him a small smile. He loved the man. He really did. Sam was his best friend in the entire multiverse, and he'd give his life for him, if he had to.
"So tell 'em, man! Give 'em one last heroic speech for old times sake!" Sam stood up, and so did 536, and Avenger did as well. He turned into the face of the camera, into the eyes of the Carnage Legion, and did one last heroic pose. For the road.
"Listen up, Citizen English! Sam's right! I am the Avenger! I am the superhero! And if you think I'm gonna let some villain like you, who thinks he can get by being a good-looking jerk, represent the city and company I love in its final hours, you are wrong! This isn't just an Infinite Crisis, this is the Final Crisis! This is Batman vs. Darkseid, but those Omega beams aren't going to hit THIS superhero! Because I've got just the superhero kick to send your goofy backside all the way back to Apokalips!"
He smiled at the camera, getting his bearings back with the encouragement of his friends.
"No, you know what? You're not even Darkseid. That would mean you're the big bad. And you're not. You're not even a special guest star in this comic! You're just a minion. A parademon. You're the Rhino at the end of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. The ending is such a foregone conclusion that they cut the movie out before Spidey gets fighting! That's what you are, Casanova English! Because I'm the Avenger, I'm the Champion of Baltimore, and I'm about to show the Legion why they kept coming to this building over the years! The heart of Carnage Wrestling doesn't stop beating for you. Not tonight, not any night!"
He reached down and lifted up his Baltimore City Championship, giving it a glance before showing it off and giving his final words.
"So stand up with me, Citizens! Stand up to the villains. Stand up to the people who only think for themselves. Stand up to those who bully others! The Avenger does not stand for bullying. He does not stand for villains. And I will NOT stand for losing to someone whose name sounds like it came from the back of a trashy romance novel! See you in the Underground, Fabio! When you have a smashed face after, don't worry. It wasn't a bird, it wasn't a plane. It was MY SUPERHERO KICK!"
Zealot.
It was all Avenger could think about, but he couldn't figure out what his endgame was. It was throwing Avenger off his game, and he knew he wasn't the same in the ring as he had been when he won the Baltimore title. In fact, he was probably dangerously close to losing that title because his matches had been short affairs with little effort. He wasn't giving things a superhero's approach and he knew it.
But Zealot was all he could think about. Sam and 536 happened to notice him stewing on this day.
"Yo Avenger," Sam said, taking a seat next to him on the roof of the Carnage Arena, where they had already packed up their camping gear. It was time to go, so they had no reason to stay on the roof of the place Avenger called home for years.
536 took a seat on the other side, as the three had lawn chairs right up to the edge of the roof of the Arena, staring out at the sunset on the Baltimore skyline.
Avenger said nothing, so Sam tried again. "Vengy," he gently prodded. "What's going on? You're in a different universe."
536 leaned forward and gave their friend a look. Sam shrugged. "Figuratively speakin', man."
"I already told you guys about Zealot and the time travel. I know you don't believe me."
Sam placed a hand on his friend's back. "Who said we didn't? Sh...Dang, man, it wouldn't even be in the top ten weirdest things we've done."
536 laughed a little, realizing how right Sam was. "Remember that time you short-circuited an android by playing Drake?"
Sam smiled and added his own example. "Or when I was mind-controlled by a bunch of kids? And then you superkicked that robot?"
It was then they all realized Avenger had a history of attacking technology. Even if he did think it was a child at the time. Avenger didn't react to the narrator's teasing, which likely meant this was serious. Not that Sam or 536 would know, as they still couldn't hear the voice.
"This is different," Avenger said. "Honestly, the whole thing made me feel weird. He said I was gonna lose something. So I've felt like something bad was gonna happen."
Sam thought a moment.
"Maybe he just meant your losing streak?" he asked.
Avenger shook his head. "Nah, that was just me. My head hasn't been in the game. Or maybe it's the curse of the belt." He was half-joking, but 536 reached behind him and pulled out their handheld camera.
"Why don't you talk about it?" he suggested. "Get your last message to the Legion out of the way."
Sam nodded. "I think that's a good idea."
Avenger shrugged, a total noncommittal answer, but 536 hit record anyway.
"No one's ever really held the Baltimore Championship long in Carnage," Avenger said. "No one will ever say the belt is cursed, but I've heard rumblings in the locker room about it. The last champion vacated due to injury and vanished from the face of the earth. But before that, no one's been able to successfully highroad it. Eli Goode and Mac Bane both lost their chances at the Ultraviolent title. The only one who's managed to be successful with it, really successful, is Sam."
He nudged his head towards his best friend, who nodded in the camera's general direction. Sam hadn't wrestled in Carnage in years, and they weren't sure he could after the mind control device scrambled his brain.
"Sam not only got the three defenses, but he managed to use it for a rematch clause and won that. So a pretty standard title run when it was all said and done."
Sam patted his friend on the back, but said nothing.
"But what about me?" he protested, his voice raising with a bit of despair in it. "What about Carnage's true superhero? The heart of the company, the champion of Baltimore? Even if I beat Casanova English, and with the losing streak I'm on that might not happen, what am I the champion of?"
He shook his head.
"Nothing," he answered. "I'll be the champion of nothing."
Sam decided to interrupt, clearing his throat and breaking Vengy's train of thought.
"Nah man," he said, shaking his head. "You'll still be the champion. A superhero is always a champion. You saved the multiverse and Christmas. You saved me. And you're gonna go out there and whoop Cassie's ass too."
"Language," Avenger said, although he didn't have a lot of fight in it. Perhaps it would be okay if this comic was PG-13 for once.
"Yeah, yeah," Sam added. "I'm just tellin' the people what they need to hear. You should all be ashamed. Lookin' down on this man who's given his blood, sweat and tears for you. Vengy's been here long before some of the so-called champions on the roster and with them already checked out, he's still here, watchin' the sunset and keepin' the lights on."
"Sam," Avenger said, looking over at his friend. "It's okay."
"The hell it is," Sam argued. "I been keepin' my mouth shut while these people run you into the ground. Now that scrawny-ass Sebastian got the nerve to turn into a damn whiner because you ain't the superhero in his story? All these other people questionin' what you do? You are the got damn Avenger, and it's about time these people knew it!"
Avenger gave him a small smile. He loved the man. He really did. Sam was his best friend in the entire multiverse, and he'd give his life for him, if he had to.
"So tell 'em, man! Give 'em one last heroic speech for old times sake!" Sam stood up, and so did 536, and Avenger did as well. He turned into the face of the camera, into the eyes of the Carnage Legion, and did one last heroic pose. For the road.
"Listen up, Citizen English! Sam's right! I am the Avenger! I am the superhero! And if you think I'm gonna let some villain like you, who thinks he can get by being a good-looking jerk, represent the city and company I love in its final hours, you are wrong! This isn't just an Infinite Crisis, this is the Final Crisis! This is Batman vs. Darkseid, but those Omega beams aren't going to hit THIS superhero! Because I've got just the superhero kick to send your goofy backside all the way back to Apokalips!"
He smiled at the camera, getting his bearings back with the encouragement of his friends.
"No, you know what? You're not even Darkseid. That would mean you're the big bad. And you're not. You're not even a special guest star in this comic! You're just a minion. A parademon. You're the Rhino at the end of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. The ending is such a foregone conclusion that they cut the movie out before Spidey gets fighting! That's what you are, Casanova English! Because I'm the Avenger, I'm the Champion of Baltimore, and I'm about to show the Legion why they kept coming to this building over the years! The heart of Carnage Wrestling doesn't stop beating for you. Not tonight, not any night!"
He reached down and lifted up his Baltimore City Championship, giving it a glance before showing it off and giving his final words.
"So stand up with me, Citizens! Stand up to the villains. Stand up to the people who only think for themselves. Stand up to those who bully others! The Avenger does not stand for bullying. He does not stand for villains. And I will NOT stand for losing to someone whose name sounds like it came from the back of a trashy romance novel! See you in the Underground, Fabio! When you have a smashed face after, don't worry. It wasn't a bird, it wasn't a plane. It was MY SUPERHERO KICK!"
536 hits the stop button and his two friends start clapping. It was perhaps the most fired up Avenger's ever been, and he was riding the high of it, smiling and finally out of his funk. He was so happy, in fact, he forgot the words of Zealot. He forgot that he might lose something. He forgot about the Baltimore Curse.
That was a mistake.
That was a mistake.
The roof of the Arena began to rumble, right as the promo had ended. It shook the chair that Avenger had been sitting in (and kicked aside when he stood), right over the side of the building. The ground shook even on the street, where cars rocked and a few alarms went off.
Somewhere in the bowels of the arena, the ballpit fell over on its side and a rat ran into it and into the Prehistoric Age, where a platinum blonde dinosaur immediately ate it.
Then, a portal opened on top of the roof of the Carnage Arena, and the Evil Avenger from Universe #161 stepped out.
"Oh man, you again?" Avenger whined. The Evil Avenger was nothing. They had already defeated him several issues ago, thanks to Sam and the music of Mark Morrison.
"Yeah, f#%#stick! Me again!" Evil Avenger crudely said, then spat at the ground. "And I've got something that's gonna rid me of you three once and for all!"
He reached behind his back and pulled out his universe's own Multiversal Remote. Only something was different about it. It was bigger. It had many more lights and a lot of them were flashing. Most of the buttons were gone, save for a giant trigger on the side.
"Wait a second," 536 said, trying to put the pieces together in his mind.
Somewhere in the bowels of the arena, the ballpit fell over on its side and a rat ran into it and into the Prehistoric Age, where a platinum blonde dinosaur immediately ate it.
Then, a portal opened on top of the roof of the Carnage Arena, and the Evil Avenger from Universe #161 stepped out.
"Oh man, you again?" Avenger whined. The Evil Avenger was nothing. They had already defeated him several issues ago, thanks to Sam and the music of Mark Morrison.
"Yeah, f#%#stick! Me again!" Evil Avenger crudely said, then spat at the ground. "And I've got something that's gonna rid me of you three once and for all!"
He reached behind his back and pulled out his universe's own Multiversal Remote. Only something was different about it. It was bigger. It had many more lights and a lot of them were flashing. Most of the buttons were gone, save for a giant trigger on the side.
"Wait a second," 536 said, trying to put the pieces together in his mind.
"The hell is going on?" Sam asked. He turned towards Evil Avenger, ready to go after him, but to the surprise of everyone, Vengy was stepping forward himself. He was so high on confidence after his final Carnage promo, so full of righteous anger, that he was ready to give some #JUSTICE to this criminal once and for all.
"Listen up, Evil Me!" Avenger shouted. The wind was picking up for some reason, and he found it hard to make himself heard. "This ends now! You weren't even supposed to be the big bad of this season! You're just the replacement for somebody else that couldn't hack the job of being a villain! So I'm about to superhero ki..."
Evil Avenger began to laugh. Began to laugh maniacally. He then flipped his hair behind him and they realized that's where the remaining pieces of his MR were: in his head. Being used to control him.
"HE SAID YOU'D SAY THAT!" Evil Avenger shouted, then his voice began to change as he continued to laugh, and Avenger's heart sank into his stomach when he realized it was now the voice of Zealot.
""What did I tell you? I gave you a choice. I told you that you were insignificant. Now you get to enjoy this last moment knowing that it was futile and pathetic just like you. The Multiverse doesn't need you Avenger! It never did! All it needs is my guiding hands and I want you to know that I'm going to take so much pride in destroying everything you hold dear. Enjoy the negative universe...because the best part about that is anything good is evil...so you're gonna forever be the bad guy...or you have to be a good person by being bad. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA...EVEN IF I LOSE...I...STILL...WIN!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHH!!"
"Listen up, Evil Me!" Avenger shouted. The wind was picking up for some reason, and he found it hard to make himself heard. "This ends now! You weren't even supposed to be the big bad of this season! You're just the replacement for somebody else that couldn't hack the job of being a villain! So I'm about to superhero ki..."
Evil Avenger began to laugh. Began to laugh maniacally. He then flipped his hair behind him and they realized that's where the remaining pieces of his MR were: in his head. Being used to control him.
"HE SAID YOU'D SAY THAT!" Evil Avenger shouted, then his voice began to change as he continued to laugh, and Avenger's heart sank into his stomach when he realized it was now the voice of Zealot.
""What did I tell you? I gave you a choice. I told you that you were insignificant. Now you get to enjoy this last moment knowing that it was futile and pathetic just like you. The Multiverse doesn't need you Avenger! It never did! All it needs is my guiding hands and I want you to know that I'm going to take so much pride in destroying everything you hold dear. Enjoy the negative universe...because the best part about that is anything good is evil...so you're gonna forever be the bad guy...or you have to be a good person by being bad. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA...EVEN IF I LOSE...I...STILL...WIN!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHH!!"
With that, Evil Avenger, a psychotic gleam in his eye that wasn't altogether his, pressed the button on the bomb and tossed it behind him. It didn't quite explode, but instead it imploded. A black hole of sorts immediately opened and began sucking things in with a low amount of power. For now, the heroes were able to stand their ground.
"I know what this is!" 536 shouted. "It's a portal to the Negative Multiverse!"
"The what?" Avenger shouted back.
"The exact opposite of everything in our multiverse!" Vengy's larger companion explained. "I thought it was only theoretical. It's such an impossibility that it basically erases whatever comes into contact with it! If someone went in, they'd be trapped! And I don't know what would happen to them once they were inside! But...nothing that goes in that black hole is ever coming out!"
Sam stepped forward. "How do we shut it off?" he asked, now having to shout himself because of the wind sucking forward past his head.
The Evil Avenger grinned again. "YOU DON'T!" he shouted. "At least, not without going in! It doesn't close until a GOOD Avenger is trapped inside! ALL HAIL ZEALOT!"
With those last words, he reached forward and grabbed the Avenger's arm. He then began to relax, as the portal began to suck him backward. Avenger dug his heels into the roof and tried his best to hold on.
"Evil Me! What are you doing? It'll suck us both in!"
Suddenly, a flash of fear came across the face of the evil Avenger. A stupid villain who was part of a stupid stable in the mirror universe to this one. It was clear he didn't want to go into the portal. He didn't want to be erased.
"I...I...I don't want to go! HE'S MAKING ME! HE..."
His face shifted again. "THE MULTIVERSE DOESN'T NEED AN AVENGER!"
The strength of the portal increased now, and both the 161 and 616 Avengers began to get pulled towards the black hole, which was increasing in size and density. It was going to have its Avenger, or it was going to take Carnage Wrestling and the City of Baltimore instead.
Avenger began to hammer down onto the arm of his evil self, but he couldn't break the grip. This Avenger was his equal after all. Suddenly, a hand calmly but firmly placed itself on his shoulder.
"I've got this," Sam said, before gripping Avenger tight and flinging him behind him with all of his strength, free of the Evil Avenger's grasp. Avenger skidded to a stop at the edge of the roof, looking at his best friend in the world with bewilderment.
"SAM!" he yelled through the noise and the wind. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Sam glanced behind him and gave Vengy a smile. "Vengy," Sam said, seemingly at peace with the decision he just made, "You've always been the best of us. You are a hero. You'll continue to be one when I'm gone."
"Gone...?" Avenger questioned, and his eyes began to well up. "YOU CAN'T!" He started to run forward but everything happened within milliseconds.
Sam, himself an Avenger in his own universe, faced #161 and rushed forward. "THE MULTIVERSE DOES NEED AN AVENGER!"
He tackled the Evil Avenger and they smacked into the black hole, creating a popping noise with impact. They began to get pulled in violently as the portal began to close around them. This was no time for jokes. No times for games. Sam threw himself into the toxic atmosphere and was losing himself, and two people that were inseparable were now splitting apart forever.
"But, I don't want you gone," Avenger pleaded, as his best friend in the whole world vanished before his eyes.
The portal closed, and suddenly there was silence. All that could be heard were the busy sounds of Baltimore on the streets below.
TO BE CONTINUED?