All-New Avenger, Issue #3: Tactfully Dumb

 LAST TIME IN ALL-NEW AVENGER:

“IIIIIIII am the Champion, my friiiieends!”

Yes, readers, The Avenger has become the new UGWC Chaos Champion, after facing his fears and defeating Lucy Wylde. He also apparently thought he was marooned on a river.

“It was a big river!” Vengy exclaimed, before popping the cork on…is that champagne?

Our hero looked around, incredulous. “Of course not!” he said. “Sparkling grape juice!”

I don’t know why I expected anything else.

“We’re going to celebrate, possible symptom of my insanity!” He then poured himself the grape juice in a wine glass. “#IBelieveinVengy” is a success!”

The narrator wondered if anyone but Vengy had used the hashtag, while the Avenger remained blissfully unaware. Our hero took a sip, with his pinky out. Um, Vengy, shouldn’t we get to this week’s story?

“Oh! Yeah, about that. Apparently I’m teaming with Larry Tact.”

And?

“He has his own narrator! But like, Larry can’t hear him.”

So what am I supposed to do when this section ends?

“I don’t know.” Avenger said, shrugging. “Read a book? Do disembodied voices read? We don’t show up until later.”

The Avenger was almost too aware of what he was, but I guess that’s what happens when you meet your creator (see here for that story, readers!)

“Hey, no time to talk about the past,” Vengy said, putting the cork back on his bottle. “It’s time for adventures!”

The Avenger finished off his glass of sparkling grape juice and chuckled. “Boy this stuff really has a kick! I can taste the sparkles!”

I need a better job.

“They PAY you for this?”

ALL-NEW AVENGER, ISSUE #3:

TACTFULLY DUMB

Following his title match at UGWC Keeper of the Keys, Larry Tact found himself once again sitting in the locker room, staring at his hands. The tape he applied to his hands to give his strikes an extra sizzle were in torn strips, his knuckles varying degrees of cracked or bleeding. His face was swelling already, an undeniable mark left by the force of Sebastian Everett-Bryce, #ANDSTILL World Heavyweight Champion. Larry turns his hands palm side up and watches a couple drops of blood slowly splash onto the locker room floor from his knuckles, while his palms look weathered and worn. At the Massive Melee, this was the moment when Larry went to pack his things, and then go out and leave his own mark on Sebastian. He can feel the cold sweat saturating his skin, that feeling creeping up along his back, crawling around the back of his neck, and causing a rise of bumps on his flesh. He feels the allure of the power zone calling once again – go find SEB and show him his place. Finish the work.

Tonight, Larry shakes his head and a small grin makes itself known across his lips. He reaches with a hand and touches the back of his neck, heat emanating off it while the base is beating with some fury. He moves his hand to the top of his head, scratching the fuzz there before moving his arm back down to his lap.

“Penny for your thoughts?” a familiar, sedate voice causes Larry to turn his head away to a darkened corner of the locker room, from which the Watcher emerges dressed in his standard black garb and mask, a hand outstretched.

Larry waves him off. “Not unless you’ve got a sack full of pennies…”

The Watcher leans against the cinder block wall, crossing his arms. “Perhaps … or is it that you’ve already deposited all your change and chosen to start saving.”

“Maybe I could push for another shot at Sebastian, maybe not,” Larry shrugs, “If there’s one thing I know about myself, though, it’s that I’m no fool. For a little while, I didn’t know what I was becoming. I thought maybe I was softening or even being played. At other times, I doubted if I was becoming stronger, or making a mistake by trying to evolve and get current with these times. I took two years to establish how ruthless I could be. I put my brand of power on display.” He makes a fist with one hand.

The Watcher observes, knowingly, before pushing off the wall and relaxing his arms. “It would appear after those two years, this year your efforts have indeed led you in a different direction. One that isn’t as brutishly endowed with power … yet still maintains yourself as a force to be reckoned with.”

“Power isn’t the only key to success. If it was, then there wouldn’t be much of a chance for unknowns or even upstarts,” Larry reflects, “Sebastian has proven as much, rising up in the ring to pass stars of the past and present. He’s shown that you can make your paper pulling other levers.”

“It’s true, Mr. Everett-Bryce is as skilled a competitor as there is, at present. With that said, he is still an agent of Chaos,” the Watcher notes.

“As I will always be able to tap into my power zone, when I need to,” Larry replies. “The difference is, Sebastian has harnessed that chaos that fueled him to a level few ever have. I’m going to continue molding my own power, and when I get back to chasing the World Heavyweight Championship, it will be with good reasoning. I’ve yet to hit my ceiling, but I also understand you don’t topple Rome in a day, or even two.”

The Watcher approaches him with a hand extended, and Larry takes it to stand. After discarding the remnants of tape, he begins gathering his belongings. “I also want to keep using the Visor, and seeing where it takes me. It feels like more than just a simulation, but I can’t describe it better than that.”

“I have news on that front,” the Watcher reports. “Studying the patterns and discussing with others who have knowledge of it, I believe you may have tapped into something deeper than what the Visor shows anyone else. This may be a level only Lazarus himself has access to. I cannot be certain, but it seems you are viewing something very real … somewhere. I will continue investigating and see what I find in the coming weeks.”

“You do that,” Larry hoists his bag over his shoulder, “In the meantime, I’m going to see what happens in the main event. I owe that much to those I battled over the Keys with.”

---(A)---

The week of Synergy 416, we are backstage at the UGWC Arena. Larry and the Watcher reconvene in an unoccupied dressing room to update before Larry has his upcoming match. The Watcher monitors Larry as he wears the Visor, delving into the realm within. Upon seeing some upticks in his vitals, the Watcher is able to utilize a Visor of his own, which he has been able to synch with Larry in a cooperative manner, to signal him to exit the Visor realm. Larry complies and is able to remove the device and put it down, massaging his temples. “It’s as if I’m seeing things through someone else’s consciousness, but I’m feeling it all myself,” he remarks.

“What I have learned in the past two weeks’ time has to do with the technology of the Visor. For everyone else, these are possible outcomes presented as in a game … say, choose your own adventure. The Visor becomes in synch with your mind to generate the most realistic simulation you’ll ever know, and that is because it is based on your dreams. You can rewrite your past, place the present aside, or dictate a possible future. As far as yourself, Larry, I wonder if the Visor realm isn’t a haven for alternate realities. For instance, you saw yourself in a scenario where your father-in-law was keen to follow your wrestling career … not something you know as the present.”

Larry strokes his beard. “It’s like I’m living another person’s life, yes, it feels something like that…” Just then, he scowls. “Except it’s impossible! How could I possibly be visiting an alternate reality? That’s not even remotely possible, is it?”

“Anything is possible, Citizen Tact!”

Finally, it’s my turn. The Avenger leaped into the field of vision for both Larry Tact and the stranger that was with him, barely paying the other only attention. Our hero smiled and patted his Chaos title, as if he were showing affection to a living thing. Readers, you should know that the Avenger has not taken the belt off since he won it. He patrolled in it, fought crime, showered…the leather side must smell like feet.

Vengy’s smile wavered and he glanced upward. “They don’t need to know EVERYTHING, you know.”

Larry looks at the Avenger with some suspicion. “What in blazes are you doing here?”

“Oh, your narrator does present-tense.” He looked upward again. “Can you do that?”

I can and I will. Hopefully the other one doesn’t mind me taking over. Larry Tact stares at our hero, completely baffled. Vengy smiles again to show he’s no threat.

“Just doing my patrol rounds of the UGWC Arena, Citizen!” The Avenger did a hero pose to drive home his point. Standard hands-on-the-hips stuff, nothing fancy. “You never know when a crime could strike! Did you know they have a guy here who LIKES evil? Anyway, we’re teaming this week!”

“T-teaming? You and me?” Larry may have had his jawdrop a bit more exaggerated than I think is needed, but to each their own. He makes a recovery by getting all business like. “By the way,” Larry looks around the waist of Vengy, where the Chaos Champion’s title, as we went over, now resides in seeming permanence, “Congratulations on besting Lucy Wylde. That’s no small victory in any environment, but to do it in the Chaos realm? That’s nothing short of astounding.”

Isn’t he a swell guy. The Avenger does one of his various side poses, as if he were replaying the match in his head. He grimaces, looks horrified, then has a look of relief followed by one of joy. 

He turned back to Tact and grins. “It was certainly a test, Citizen Tact! Lucy is by far my toughest opponent! But the TRUE test will be holding onto this!” 

Vengy pulls the belt off his waist and puts it on his shoulder.

“Heck,” he said. “Maybe I can try to do as well as Sebastian did! I know that’s a tall order, but these days, I’m trying to believe in myself!”

He then gives a big cheesy thumbs up, even if the situation really doesn’t call for it.

Larry looks all gruff but affirming like. “I’m glad you’re succeeding with all of this, hero stuff you’ve got going on, along with your wrestling success carrying over from Carnage and Pro Wrestling Valor. For the time being, I’ve given up on any set destination points. I want to see where the universe has an arrow pointing for me, and then decide if that’s where I want to go, or if I feel like being a little out of the box. You’ll no doubt be full of some nasty competition for that title, I’ve no doubt about it.”

Wow! That was a little woo-woo from Larry, but we get it. He’s trying to do better.

“Citizen! You can count on me to watch out as you find your own inner Vengy.”

Larry looks, again to my surprise – inspired! “Vengy, you know what? I’m feeling the confidence you’ve got.”

Ha! That’s a good one, Larry. Vengy strikes a pose that speaks cheesy Champion. “I am the Champ! That’s how I’ll be setting the example for all the little Vengys and their littler Vengies and their littlerest Vengies! And –”

You can see where this leads us. For whatever reason, maybe his newfound belief in himself, we find Larry very into the whole thing. I know, it’s like Vengy somehow inspires in the strangest times. Larry is even starting to try and pose.

Oh, wait, I think he’s trying to gracefully exit. Until he remembers something Vengy said earlier and snaps in front of Vengy’s face.

“Wait, what do you mean we’re teaming together?” Larry looks a bit flustered. “YOU and ME?”

“Correcto-mundo, Tact!” Vengy gives a super cheesy grin. “Which can only mean one thing!”

Oh boy, when Vengy makes his guesses, it can be anyone’s guess.

“You can be my sidekick!”

“Wait… what?” Larry is as dumbfounded by that leap of logic as I am. But Vengy and his guesses.

“Don’t worry, sidekick-in-training! You got this! We’re gonna be an awesome team!” he’s still wearing that super cheesy grin, too.

Larry seems to find his chill again from earlier. “Hmm… the last time we met, we were wrestling for the WrestleStock Cup in a classic alongside Cashe. Having wrestled you then, I know now how talented you truly are, superhero stigmas and casted aspersions be damned. That Chaos title is all the proof anyone should need to know how legitimate your heroic actions can translate to heroic punches in the ring.”

Vengy begins playing out matches out loud and Larry quickly tries to cut this one off. “Maybe it’s because the holidays are coming, but I think there’s a non-zero chance you and I could very well be a shockingly good team.”

“I don’t know if that’s how you say we could be friends, but it sure sounds like we can kick some serious butt in this match!” 

Wait, Vengy. You do know who you’re facing. You should tell Larry.

“Aww come on…”

Vengy swats at the air, somehow thinking he can get rid of me that way. Newsflash Vengy, you can’t. Besides, Larry looks like he’s preeeetty confused with you right now.

He’s somewhere between miffed and insulted. “What in the blazes are you doing?!”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Well, he stopped swatting anyway. “I have to tell you who we’re going against. They’re not good guys like me and y– well, maybe you, too!”

Larry isn’t exactly relieved, but he’s assuaged enough to let it go. “I’ll have you know that I mean what I said. We can win a match against any given team.”

“Well, it’s Alan ‘Vain’ Wallace and Zane Scott. They’re not the worst worst baddies, but Zane is like that nagging villain who gets away and regroups. He’s tough to show the error of his ways.”

That’s just the way villains are? Unless they’re really down the list, like d-listers.

Vengy strikes a thoughtful-but-somehow-still-heroic pose. Vengy, why do you keep posing? It’s okay to stand there like a normal person. “Alan had been away for some time, I thought to find a different way, but it seems he’s still susceptible to his villainous ways.”

Maybe Larry needs a spiritual advisor because he’s buying what Vengy is selling. “That’s pretty thoughtful stuff, Veng– er, Avenger. I don’t do nicknames.”

A lightbulb goes off in Vengy’s head!

“Hey! I noticed that, too. I’ve been meaning to ask, I mean, if I had one question to ask Larry Tact…” Larry. He’s asking you. Too late, he’s just asking. “What’s with the not using people’s nicknames?”

“Wait, what? You’re seriously trying to tell me that if you had a single question you want to ask me, it would be that??” Larry sounds almost as surprised as earlier when he says. “I was just facing the World Champion. Now I’m teaming with the Chaos Champion. I think I’m starting to feel mental whiplash.”

Vengy is pretty confused, which is probably less because he’s listening and more because he can’t settle on his next Champion pose. “Do you think I should do the whirlwind? What a great idea!” Okay, he wasn’t listening.

Larry begins to eye the door again when Vengy suddenly looks over to the funky techno-thing on the chair. Yeah, that’s a funny looking thing. “Hey! Is that a new game? Larry, do you play video games?”

I understand Larry’s whiplash. It takes some time getting used to Vengy. It’s possible he made some baddies more committed to villainy at some point.

“Hold on! That’s not the way you tell it.” Vengy, uh, Larry’s hearing you talking out loud.

“Oopsie!” That, too.

“What? Of course I play video games!” Larry would be more offended if he didn’t take note of where Vengy was looking. “You know,” he starts to look more seriously at The Avenger. He’s been enjoying this conversation, but now he’s seeing the Visor. Larry’s eyes get a little wider like he’s getting ready to sit down and have the most tactful Thanksgiving in history, and then someone yanks the tablecloth.

That’s Vengy. Larry is all business again. “I don’t think that you should be messing with that.”

“I was just asking what it is!” Vengy looks at Larry. “Don’t get all Game Changer Larry on me.”

“Whoa!” Vengy leaps back, automatically striking a super heroic pose! “The Watcher guy is still here?!? I guess he is pretty stealthy, eh??”

The Watcher doesn’t seem to notice anything, and proceeds with his thought. “Oh, this? It is a Visor, a seeming gateway to realms unknown.”

Larry abruptly snatches the Visor from the Watcher, and demurs. “Are you nuts? We can’t just go advertising it. This could be extremely dangerous in the… in the wrong…”

Vengy, maybe hold off on the super hero posing for now.

“But like, I think I’m the hero in this exact situation!” Vengy, quick look at them.

“I want to be part of this conversation, too.” Vengy, they don’t hear me. Only you are hearing us both, remember?

Larry and the Watcher are giving Vengy a weird look, but then Larry lets his argument drop. Wow, he’s like really more chill with Vengy here. “Yes, I think you’re beginning to see what I have, Larry,” the Watcher calmly says. “This is the Avenger, hero of the people. He is the Baltimore City Champion, and the present steward of the Chaos realm. He’s a being who possesses an aura of good, not that of deception. I believe we will find trust in him to keep the knowledge of these devices under the lock of his cape and mask. Please know we would appreciate your help, Vengy. The Visor is at once a highly sensitive item, and the gateway to other realms.”

Vengy strikes a new super hero pose just as they look back. Lucky duck. “Citizens! I am here to be the hero you ask me to be!” He’s really enjoying the timing of all this. “I’m the Champ, after all!” Vengy then thinks of something really awesome! “Wait! You have this Visor realm, and I’ve been around the multiverse! This is so cool! Let’s compare notes.”

Suddenly, it’s Larry who finds himself on the fringe of the conversation between The Avenger and The Watcher. He can understand how these two may find each other in a bar and get along instantly. It’s a bond between their ilk. Larry finally cracks a smirk.

“You are both way too enthused talking about all of this.” He watches them nod at him, then continue their discussions. It seems that leaves me a chance to FINALLY engage this Vengy narrator! Hey, you!

What was that? Wait,-who… me? Like, the narrator?

I don’t know about ‘the narrator,’ but yes, you. Who else is narrating Vengy right now!

Whoa, this one is talking to me. Tact narrator isn’t a stretch from Larry himself. Oh, shoot! You can hear that.

Yes, Vengy. I’ve heard what you’ve said this entire time.

I guess it’s easy enough to be called Vengy. Should I call you, TactMan? Tactilizing? What do you even go by?

I’m just, like… I don’t know.

What do you mean?

I’ve never been in contact with another narrator before, so how would I know? I guess, Tact is the character I narrate for. 

I mean I did,but that guy was a jerk.(see that for yourselves in this issue, readers!) 

Wait, did you plug your guy’s past stories?

Yep. But don’t worry, I’m paying attention. Anyway, that’s one good thing about connecting with Vengy! But there’s also a lot of his jokes. Like, a lot.

Suppose so. I don’t know if I’ll ever connect with Larry. Maybe someday we’ll get there. I just hope he isn’t, well… a Vengy! Hahaha!

Man, this narrator is a rough one. To think, we could have done a teamup. Your character is trying to be good, but you’re still a bad guy narrator.

Hahahaha!

Fine, I’m happy to have Vengy to narrate. What do you want, anyway?

Oh, uh, we should wrap this up. That’s what I meant to say. But it came out more like my guy’s old stuff. We’re getting there..

Yeah, and we need to get to the big finale!

Maybe it is teamup time for these two!

In a moment of what could be described as a hail mary connecting to Larry, he remembers the one thing that may draw The Avenger out of this Multiverse and Visor realm discussion. If it didn’t work, Larry may not make it to Synergy 416. “By the way, Avenger, there was something I had to say about not using people’s nicknames.”

Bravo, Larry. A real slam dunk since it not only is something Vengy desperately wants to know. It also allows him to do a super heroic looking whirl around from The Watcher. Vengy won’t realize he ghosted the Watcher for weeks, but they may keep in touch.

“Citizen Tact! From the Knox Raven to even with just SEB. Embrace the nicknames.”

“And why exactly should I do such a thing?”

Vengy strikes a really determined pose. “They’re great for super heroes!” A determined self-promotion machine.

After a moment, Larry nods. “I can’t fault you for being genuinely yourself… Vengy.”

“YES! I DID THAT! I’M THE CHAMP!!!” Vengy is parading around at this latest triumph. He’s normally not bragging like this but, I’ll scold him later. He earned it.

Eventually, Larry understands he should keep things moving. “It seems pairing us together could be as stout a challenge as any who face us, even Alan Wallace and Zane Scott. Alan and I teamed earlier this year, too, and I could see the fire still blazing inside of him. Now, after he’s won Keeper of the Keys, he’ll be as confident as ever going into Horizons. He’s no longer concerned with having to secure his spot on the biggest show of the year, and will absolutely be locked in on us.”

The Tactilizing One makes his way to a duffel bag he has with him. “Zane has found success in his own right, too, being a Cross-Hemisphere Champion. Not only that, but he came back from Ezra and Ezekiel shelving him for a bit, and hasn’t looked back ever since WrestleStock. This is a match that has all the elements for some raucous combustion. We’ll need every bit of our combined might to take them down.” He fishes around the bag and opens an inner pocket. From it he takes in hand a sigiled sledgehammer. Tact back issue readers would know this from his Level Up days as the Wand. Spoiler: He stole it.

Vengy looks concerned at the sight of this definitely villain looking weapon. He points at it heroically to impose the seriousness of his words. “That is a weapon of evil!”

Larry looks at the sledgehammer and he confirms as much. “It’s something that I was going to ask the Watcher to look after for me. I think it may be best if I break ties with this, too. Seeing as a hero might, it could still be my signature. But why limit myself?” he laughs. “But with you here, Vengy, I feel like you’re alright. I think we’re going to be a dynamic team at Synergy, and bring our combined powers against the likes of Wallace and Scott. They may be on a roll, but so are you. As for me? I don’t have anything to lose here, and everything to prove by showing we can beat this team of the Cross-Hemisphere Champion, and a future challenger to a UGWC Champion. And to show I mean that…”

Vengy is astounded when Larry hands him the sigiled sledgehammer.

Larry closes the bag and slings it over his shoulder. “We should get going. I’ll have my head ready to bounce back at Synergy, and start finding my next chapter in UGWC. I’m going to make the most of teaming with the Chaos Champion.”

Immediately, Vengy begins ringing off possible team names, which he may or may not remember. Larry is feeling like he understands the passion The Avenger has, and he is going to make it his goal to match that at Synergy. That’s going to mean an intense and exciting match that will no doubt bring Larry and The Avenger at their finest.